this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I party with great urgency now.
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