sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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