So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
