im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
