its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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