So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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