At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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