i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
