my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize