don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
