Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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