just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
