woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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