from now on my penis is your penis
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
