Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
