Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
