Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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