I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Randomize
