Duck Duck Cougar?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
