I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
