it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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