I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
now i know why i became what i already was.
she pinky promised me she was 18
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
