Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
don't judge my taste in strippers
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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