Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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