Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
