What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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