I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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