I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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