Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
