I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
even my farts smell like vagina
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
