Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
