She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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