Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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