I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
