yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
