you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize