Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
