I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
