Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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