He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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