Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
