I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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