So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize