Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize