I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
