matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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