i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
