The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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