my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
