I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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