How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize