I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
