The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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