in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize