Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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