I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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