we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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