is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
