this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
