having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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