your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
