I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
