No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
This house was built for laser tag.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Randomize
