if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
